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She is alone and yet in the middle of a crowd.
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She has shelter and food and yet is hungry.
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She is stoic and dignified and yet nervous.
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She is Cago, a Canada goose without mate or family, but with flock.
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The "flock" is a bunch of squabbling, cantankerous mallards who, though keeping company with Cago, also serve to unsettle and jangle her nerves.
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It has been a point of speculation and wonder over the past couple of weeks if, when regaining her flight feathers, Cago would finally leave Harlem Meer in Central Park to search out her former family or mate?
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But, unlike Toluse (an injured Canada goose) who immediately left the Meer as soon as his sprained leg healed a couple of weeks ago, Cago has remained.
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That is likely because Cago no longer has a family to seek out.
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As previously noted, Cago (a late molter) flew into Harlem Meer alone in late June soon after USDA WS goose roundups began in New York City.
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It was speculated then and seems to be confirmed now that Cago was the lone survivor of a USDA WS goose cull because she could still fly when most geese couldn't.
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It isn't clear now how Cago knows her family is gone forever, but she seems aware of the likely reality.
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There is little doubt Cago can fly again, but she has made no move to go anywhere.
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Rather, I find Cago each evening hanging with either the four domestic ducks near the Dana Center at Harlem Meer or on the other side of the lake with newly arrived mallards, many of whom have returned to the Meer over the past couple of weeks.
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But, as the mallards battle and work out their hierarchy and places at the Meer, Cago stands as a neutral party, neither involved in the territorial squabbles nor totally uninvolved by virtue of having to step away from the most contentious tiffs.
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Cago has had to do much stepping away recently.
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Among the most contentious and "rule enforcing" ducks at Harlem Meer are the mama mallards who have raised ducklings over the spring and summer.
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The ducklings now almost fully grown, they and their mothers are like little armies, throwing their status around and using it to chase off and intimidate, especially newly arrived mallards.
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"Make no mistake. We RULE around here!"
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It is not clear how the resident mallards determine which females produce young each year, (as only a few do) but from personal observance, it appears to be the strongest, smartest and most of all, toughest.
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One such mama mallard even took advantage of Cago this summer to "babysit" her then tiny ducklings while she harassed and chased off other mallards.
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Last night, a mama mallard and her three (mostly grown) ducklings arrived at the embankment where many mallards and Cago were roosting and it was as though all hell broke loose.
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The ducklings were every bit as aggressive as their mother in laying down rules and letting everyone know who were the real bosses at the Meer.
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Perhaps it was not all that surprising that there were fewer mallards at the Meer last night than the night before when there were easily more than 100.
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Between feisty mama mallards, their entitled "brats" and the four domestic (and also dominant) ducks at the Meer, many newly arrived mallards are finding no long term welcome mats at Harlem Meer.
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The message seems to be, "Yeah, you can eat a little duck weed on the lake for a day or two, but then quickly be gone!"
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I am guessing this is partially how animals naturally retain healthy populations according to environmental support.
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Status and hierarchy mean everything.
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And certainly among the very high status rulers in both geese and ducks are those who have young.
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As for Cago, by virtue of being a Canada goose, she is respected by the ducks and valued, (not only as a "free babysitter" on occasion, but) for sentry duty and early warning signals.
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But, even Cago steps out of the way of angry mama mallards and their kids when they are on a rampage.
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It isn't easy being a lonely goose in the middle of "bad company" mallards -- especially the testy and tough mamas and their so "adorable kids."
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One suspects that when gazing wistfully over the lake at night, Cago is thinking of and longing for days gone by and loves lost.
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But, still she faces each new day with sense of hope and in-the-moment, presence and fortitude. -- PCA
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