Friday, October 11, 2013

"The Stresses of Being Alone" -- Death by Broken Heart

Shadows and disconsolate memory. Cago and me last Sunday night.
Last night, after visiting with the four domestic ducks at Harlem Meer in Central Park and walking around the lake, I was suddenly gripped by sense of loss and ghosts around me.
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The ghosts of lives and spirits passed.
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From the pekin ducks of a few years back to the more recent losses of Angelina, Piggly, Wiggly, Honker and perhaps the most painful of all last year, Brad. 
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Brad had been the Rouen domestic duck who had seemingly ruled the Meer for years.
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He died alone on the water just before summer's end last year -- his death a mystery to this day.
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I thought to myself that were it not for Cochise, Conner, Carol and Connie (the four domestics) still surviving at Harlem Meer for nearly a year now, I would not go there at all. The memories and losses are becoming too painful.
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That is especially true now, because it appears that there is soon to be a new one to add.
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But, in this case, a goose......
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It was exactly one week ago today, that I found myself looking around for Cago, the loner Canada goose at the Meer since June.  She was not in her usual spot by the banks of the lake with the mallards.
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But, then something caught my eye in a far off corner of the grass by the Dana Center.
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It was Cago.
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To my horror, she was pushing backwards against the fencing that protects this small area of grass from human activity.  It is a favorite gathering and roosting spot for the waterfowl of the Meer.
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But, it was obvious that Cago was suffering some form of pain and acute distress.
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I stood for some moments observing Cago.
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Her head was down and bent over the back of her body.  She appeared to be having trouble keeping balance and clearly seeing.
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Worst of all, when attempting to walk, Cago appeared to have problems stepping forward and instead, stumbled backwards.  At least two or three times, she slumped and fell down.
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In all the years of observing geese and ducks I had never seen anything even remotely like this before. -- Birds walking and stumbling backwards, like a drunk.
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It was clear that whatever was happening, it wasn't some trivial matter that would quickly resolve on its own.  Cago needed to be rescued.
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Unfortunately, I discovered Cago in this condition shortly before midnight.
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There was no one to call at that hour for rescue and I had nothing to put her in.  
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But, early the next morning, (Saturday) I returned to the Meer with my friend, Liliana, in attempt to rescue the clearly ailing goose.
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Cago appeared a bit better than the night before as she was seemingly "adapting" to walking forward -- at least a little -- though she still continued to stumble backwards.
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She had also moved from the Dana Center grass to the western part of the Meer. 
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(Perhaps that was because "Geese Police" was already patrolling the Meer to insure that if there was more than one goose, they would be unceremoniously harassed out of Central Park. )
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Part of me wanted to believe that perhaps someone had slipped Cago something with alcohol and that she would recover with time.
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But that was simply wishful thinking.
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Liliana and I attempted to rescue Cago and bring her to the Wild Bird Fund which is a rehabilitation center for injured or ill wild birds.
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But, our efforts were severely hampered by people walking off leash dogs at that hour in the morning, as well as runners.
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Although Cago still recognized me and managed to come close, she was eventually spooked by a dog and retreated to the water, not to come out again.
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Our effort had failed.
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Due to family, church and other obstacles, Liliana and I would not get another attempt at rescue until Monday morning.
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But, would Cago survive until Monday?
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Not feeling comfortable in allowing Cago to suffer until Monday, I called the Urban Park Rangers as soon as arriving home to request rescue of the goose who was clearly in bad shape.
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And though I called several numbers, no one answered and nor were my messages returned.
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I returned to the Meer both, Saturday and Sunday nights with my daughter (who was visiting for a few days) to check on Cago.
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Bravely, still hanging in there and coming to me, Cago's condition was otherwise deteriorating.   
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Not only was Cago having difficulty seeing, focusing and keeping balance, but she was also developing what seemed sheer fright of the mallards who are normally her buddies.
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More than once, mallards accidentally knocked Cago over and she appeared in absolute terror of them (probably because of her vulnerability and weakened condition) and nearly everything else.  
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Perhaps the only "hopeful" sign was that Cago was still eating.  But, everything else was quickly going downhill.
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Monday morning, I met with Liliana before dawn and we quickly headed to the Meer.
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Fortunately, no one was around at that hour.
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As I offered the weakened Cago some cracked corn from my hand, Liliana quickly snuck up behind her and in a flash, dropped a sheet over and grabbed Cago.
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To the shock of both of us, Cago put up a fight, using every bit of her strength to try and flap wings and get away.
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Its surprising how powerful the wings of geese actually are -- even sick geese.
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It took both of us to contain Cago in the sheet and wrestle her into the soft kennel carrier where she continued to struggle off and on until finally reaching the Wild Bird Fund.
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Later, when returning home, I called the Urban Park Rangers again -- this time to let them know that we had rescued Cago.
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But, when getting the voice mail again, I left a very angry message, virtually accusing Park Rangers of being useless and not earning their paycheck.
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"Its unacceptable that regular pedestrians are expected to rescue suffering wildlife in a park or watch birds die on the water."
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I had barely hung up, when immediately receiving a call back from one of the park rangers. (Apparently, leaving angry messages is the way to actually connect with them.)
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The park ranger offered all kinds of excuses for why injured or sick wildlife in the park is not rescued in time for saving.  Mainly that, "Rescue is not our main job. Education is."
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I apparently didn't realize the main job of park rangers was to be tour guides.  One guesses that is the reason Urban Park Rangers are not properly equipped for wildlife rescue. (For example, having kayaks for waterfowl rescue in water.)  Its simply not priority.
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Following the somewhat unpleasant exchange with the park ranger, I called the Central Park Conservancy to register still one more complaint about goose harassment this time of year -- and especially when there are less than three geese in all of Central Park.
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"Are you going to harass the migratory geese too when they fly in before winter?  What kind of 'Conservancy' is that?"
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Unfortunately, these calls and complaints seem to mostly fall upon deaf ears. And yet, they need to be made.
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Cago has now been at the Wild Bird Fund for nearly a week. 
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She was examined by a vet, has been receiving antibiotics and excellent nutrition and care, but her condition is nevertheless, very grave.
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The speculation from the director of the Wild Bird Fund is that Cago "has a virus that laid dormant for some time, but manifested due to the stresses of being alone."
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There is no immediate or known cure for the brain swelling and neurological symptoms that Cago is displaying.   She may ultimately have to be euthanized unless showing some kind of dramatic and miracle improvement over the next few days.
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The one thing that plays repeatedly in my mind through all this are the words, "due to the stresses of being alone."
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I remember when Cago first arrived at Harlem Meer in late June after likely surviving a USDA goose cull elsewhere in the city at that time.  A slaughter that likely took her mate and/or entire family.
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Though Cago adapted very well and courageously to her unfortunate circumstances, one could nevertheless always feel a sense of profound loss and grief in her that was not ultimately quelled by a bunch of ducks.
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While Cago later appeared to form alliances with Toluse and two other geese who arrived in September, it is now suspected those geese were harassed out of Central Park by Geese Police.
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".....the stresses of being alone."
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Thanks, City of New York, USDA "Wildlife Services," Geese Police, Urban Park Tour Guides, Central Park "Conservancy" and perhaps most of all, Senator Gillibrand (whose real name should be Killibrand).  
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Thanks for turning the once beloved Harlem Meer and Central Park into a haunting place of spirits and ghosts.
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And thanks for adding still one more goose to your long list of death by broken heart.
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Though her official demise may occur in the fall of the year, Cago is nevertheless, still a casualty of summer because irretrievable death of heart came in June at the bloody hands of USDA.
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Cago's place at Harlem Meer will forever be haunted by shadow and disconsolate memory as so many who have perished before her. -- PCA
                                                           
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5 comments:

Missy Pound said...

OMG......not Cago!
I have been following her story and am shocked to read this. My heart is just breaking. Poor Cago. Praying for a miracle.

Rebecca said...

My heart is breaking for Cago and for you. These beautiful loving intelligent creatures become so dear to us. There will be prayers for sweet Cago. I hope she makes it.
Becky

jeffrey said...

This is the most depressing,yet best blog I've read from you. I've seen lone geese in the aftermath of 2 culls at Jamica Bay Wildlife Refuge in last 2 summers. Some appear almost disoriented, and there is a definite aura of loss around each goose. To see such a social animal alone, lose its family and flockmates is gut-wrenching. And I too walk the Refuge haunted by the spirits of a thousand geese--no longer to hear their "goose music."

PCA said...

Thank you so much, Missy, Rebecca and Jeffrey for your kind and supportive words.

And yes, Jeffrey, we are all haunted by the ghosts of murdered geese and other wildlife and forever will be. For those geese not outrightly rounded up and slaughtered, they ultimately die, like Cago, of broken heart.

We need to take a good, hard look as a species to what we are really doing snd we need to feel shame.

For those of us who already know, we need to keep fighting for the still living and vulnerable even if it seems sometimes, no one is listening.

Am currently writing the follow-up to this entry and will post shortly.

Thanks again for your kind words of comfort, understanding and support. They are greatly appreciated, and quite frankly, needed.

Mary Castrovilla said...

Oh, Patty, my friend,
My heart is breaking for you.
I JUST now (Oct. 15th) got to read your blog, having not been on the Internet for a few days.)
What you ( and your friend L.) went through with dear, dear Cago was truly compassionate. You carried out Creator God's care for "not a sparrow falleth without God caring".
I believe that God wept, and is weeping with you.
I have asked my husband Joe (died May 25, 1993) to ask God to be with you very closely. I have prayed to the spirits of my two cats Fluffy (2006) and Maggie (2012) as well as "Tabby (the murdered cat that I found last June in the parking lot next to my apt. blg. – a long, sad story of officials not responding), and my friends cats (Marbles, Natasha, Kanji, Cody, Zena...) to welcome Cago to the Rainbow Bridge. (www.petloss.com)
I believe that Cago is at peace –with her mate and family, (and with the many geese who have without mercy been killed) at "The Rainbow Bridge" and that she will always, always be grateful to you for the many acts of kindness (including the final heroic heartbreaking act of love - that of euthanasia.)
I wish I could hug you. I can only hope that my attempts to comfort you (words are so damn inadequate) will somehow bring you some solace, as you go through (again) the “valley of the shadow of death.”
With love...