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I like to think of myself as empathetic and especially sensitive to animals.
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As a child, I rescued stray cats, injured pigeons and cried when Scarlet O'Hara whipped the exhausted horse taking her from Atlanta to Tara in Gone With the Wind, until he collapsed and died.
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Later in life, I worked at the Fund for Animals for two years (it later merged with HSUS), was active in Animal Rights causes, became a vegetarian in my early 30's and directly did cat and dog rescue and adoptions for more than 20 years -- including working with Animal Care and Control in NYC to save a couple of thousand of animals from its daily Euth lists.
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In recent (twilight) years, I began to shift away from the emotional and physical drains and demands of direct animal rescue/adoption to focus more on writing and wildlife issues -- specifically the killing of thousands of Canada geese throughout New York City properties and parks.
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Though not wildly successful in the latter endeavors, one likes to think one has had some influence on others' thinking on these issues. Progress though small, has been made.
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I feel there is greater respect and understanding towards the geese and other wildlife of our parks than when I first became involved in the issue. (That is not just due to me of course, but many others tirelessly devoted to these issues.) Unfortunately, true progress requires, not just a few years, but many over time.
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Throughout all these causes and efforts, there were friendships made along the way, most of them based upon similar ideologies and goals for saving animals and/or the promotion of Animal Rights.
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But as most often happens in life, friends move away, get married, have kids. Some move on in terms of interest and focus. And some, one simply loses touch and drifts from.
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And then there are others whom one splits from due to specific conflict in goals, philosophy and focus.
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Such has occurred recently mostly due to my "coming out" to defend the carriage horses in New York City and advocating to keep them working in Central Park.
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Support of working animals is generally not compatible with, nor associated with the more strident factions of Animal Rights.
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In essence, I have lost a number of Facebook friends over the past few months and at least one working colleague (who was otherwise valued and respected and still is).
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But one of those friends was in fact, lost years ago, specifically over the disagreement on carriage horses and what should be done about them.
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I have always believed that where animal abuse or neglect is present, all must be done to alleviate and eliminate such abuse. But should such always require complete elimination of an otherwise, positive animal employing or connecting activity?
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For example, does the fact that some cat and dog owners are abusive or neglectful of their animals, require us to eliminate the "ownership" and keeping of pets entirely?
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Some in Animal Rights actually believe that, but I don't.
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Rather, I believe that stronger laws are required to allow for confiscation of neglected and abused pets by proper authorities and greater care given when adopting out and placing animals. But, certainly I would not support "throwing the baby out with the bath water" as the ultimate solution to isolated incidents of animal abuse or neglect.
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On the issue of carriage horses, I have always admired and respected those working to gain reforms, protections and improvements for the horses (and their drivers) as similar to the companion animal issue. It goes without saying that there is always room for improvement in anything. That is what human and animal progress is all about.
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But, when having conversation with my friend in the mid part of the last decade, I was informed that she wanted to move from advocacy on the companion (dogs and cats) animal issue, to working towards an outright ban of carriage horses in NYC.
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I did not understand or agree with this goal and communicated such feelings at the time.
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It was not a heated nor combative conversation between friends, but it was one that demonstrated marked difference in perspective, focus and goal.
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Though still friends, we parted company that evening -- each going our literal and figuratively, separate ways.
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I continued work in animal rescue and adoptions in the years following; my friend embarked on a whole new path to take down a "soft target" that she and others viewed, evil and abusive.
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Over the ensuing years, my friend and I rarely talked, though occasionally we bumped into each other at a rally or other animal event and would be respectful and polite.
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As the protests and campaign to ban carriage horses escalated in NYC, I stayed completely out of the issue publicly so as not to show disrespect towards a former best friend. The feeling was, even if we were not friends in the true sense of the word, one should at least have respect for the former relationship.
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Even when other groups (specifically, NYCLASS, FOA and PETA) joined the anti-carriage horse cause and more than a million dollars was spent to defeat Christine Quinn in the 2013 primaries and elect ban-promising Bill deBlasio, I still stayed out of the carriage horse controversy, posting and saying nothing about it on social media (this despite the fact, I thought the campaign against Quinn particularly hateful, vicious and unfair and communicated that privately to a couple of colleagues).
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Many times I wanted to actually address concerns on the issue and the nasty political maneuvers to this blog or in newspaper comment, but always refrained for not wanting to alienate a former friend.
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Then, one day a few months ago, I posted on my Facebook page, an innocuous and somewhat tongue in cheek, suggestion by the New York Post that carriage horses should be confined to and stabled at Central Park as a possible "compromise" to the contentious issue. (Actually a good idea if one thinks about it, but not achievable without tremendous dedication, effort, compromise and unity among those factions now so polarized and warring.)
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The posting of that short, non-controversial blip from the NY Post (which I can't even find now) on my FB page drew immediate, sharp criticism and insult from my former friend -- even to the point, I was promptly "unfriended" on the popular social media site.
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Such was shock and rude awakening for me as I didn't think this individual even paid attention to my FB postings (A couple of weeks prior to the incident, I had posted of my dog, Tina --who she had known -- passing after 18 years. There was not a word of sympathy or condolence.)
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But, if I lost a FB friend (met years earlier when adopting two rescued, stray kittens to her), I gained new sense of emancipation in the process.
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Freedom to finally speak out on the issue as I had actually been wanting to do for years.
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The only regret now is in having waited and hesitated so long.
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Moral of the story one supposes, is that if you feel something is important and right to do at the time, one should not allow former sentimentalities or emotional baggage to stand in the way of taking a positive and proactive stand for one's beliefs and values.
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I don't know that I can have much, if any impact at all in helping to stop now, what has so forcefully (and in my view, destructfully) been forged into motion to empty Central Park of our beautiful and proud carriage horses, but I believe it noble and valid to try.
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My Significant Other of 18 years tells me not to worry as ultimately, campaigns of such negativity and character take-downs cannot, in the end, "win." I would like to believe that, but remember the campaign that took out Quinn. It was extraordinarily vicious and negative.
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But as I sit here on a Tuesday morning in front of a computer monitor, I think of the sometimes strange and winding roads a friendship -- and life can take.
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Most times in life, friendships simply drift apart and move in different directions.
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But, sometimes what moves away as friends, turns full circle and returns as something quite different from what it once was.
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The question is, is it us who have changed or the other person?
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For sure, I have changed as 2014 began to come to an end. When sharing my plans to go pubic with views on the carriage horse issue to a respected Animal Rights colleague some months back, I was told in no uncertain terms that I was "moving to the dark side" and that our friendship for all intents and purposes, was over.
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Did I in fact, "move to the dark side" of being an advocate for true animal welfare and justice? And if so, why?
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I remember back to those times as a child, when determining what an animal needed and what was needed to be done for him/her, appeared so easy.
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It is much harder now.
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But, each week, as I spend time watching and interacting with individual carriage horses on the hack line and speaking with their owners/drivers, I always come away with the distinct and compelling feeling that yes, despite all the losses and hard feelings, this is the right thing to do.
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Peering into the soft, brown eyes of confident horses who seem to say, "Yes, I am happy and proud and exactly where I want to be" has forged and solidified that feeling in me.
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Perhaps I haven't really changed so much from those early days of finding a stray cat or picking up from the street, a pigeon with a broken wing. But, there are always the self doubts and questions now.
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Perhaps it is that which is essentially the main difference from being child to growing to adult? And yet, underneath it all, we are still and always, the same. -- PCA
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