Friday, May 25, 2012

"D'em Damn Geese!" -- Airline Terrorists AND Lazy Loafers?

Forget about making it on American Idol or winning a Nobel prize.
It seems if one wants to really "make the news" these days, all one has to do is whine about and demonize geese.
Certainly, Senator Gillibrand (D- NY) made national news recently when announcing her bill to wipe out Canada geese at Jamaica Bay Wildlife Refuge and virtually all of New York City.
The senator depicted the geese as suicidal winged terrorists of the skies, bringing down airliners every chance they could get.
"We cannot wait another day to take action!" Ms. Gillibrand added passionately.
(Undoubtedly, the "concerned" senator must have read and taken to heart, this piece published a few years ago: )
Although the senator has been involved with many other pieces of legislation, it is her proposed "war on geese" at a wildlife refuge that gained her national attention and media spotlight.
Nevertheless, most publicized complaints about geese are the exact opposite.
Instead of suicidal winged terrorists stalking our skies and airliners, Canada geese are "one bunch of lazy birds" who "don't go anywhere."
"You have to just about run them over with a golf cart to get them to walk, not fly, out of your way" laments one disgruntled writer to a newspaper, who of course was published:
I was always under the impression that to get anything published in a newspaper, the letter, Op-Ed or article had to be well written and present some evidence of fact or claim.
But, that is apparently not true when complaining about Canada geese. All one need do well is whine.
A couple of weeks ago, a news crew from "Channel 2 Action News" in Georgia rushed out with cameras and some measure of urgency to cover the story of the "scourge" of Canada geese "messing up" some old woman's lawn. 
But, there were no geese to film when the news crew (and CSI team?) arrived to the crime scene.   Nevertheless,  the video and article ran anyway on the local news. 
Facts and evidence not needed.  Just a big mouth whining about geese is all that is necessary these days to gain publicity and get one's name or mug in newspapers or on TV.
But, here is the question to ask of all these "news reports."
"Which is it?"  
Either the geese are suicidal terrorists of the skies taking down airliners left and right.  Or, they are a "lazy bunch who don't go anywhere."
Can they really be both? 
Ah, such a pity that we can't pin Wall Street boondoggles, violent crimes or climate change on Canada geese.
But, fear not.
Someone is presumably figuring out how to do just that.
After all, no better and easier way to gain notoriety and "fame" than by blaming Canada geese for all the ills of the world.
"Ah, 'dem damm geese!  T'aint good for notin!" -- New York Times, can you hear me now?     --- PCA

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